In the Hizzy

After hours of waiting around in the hospital this morning and a very slow car trip, we are all three home. The cats are trying to figure out what is happening here.

The Next 36

Mr. B, or I mean Orly, is doing great. She loves to be held and swaddled as tight as possible. She is our little burritto.

Here's what she has done so far:

Slept (a lot)
Pooped (a lot)
Cried (some)
Figured out the whole boob thing
Met and chilled with Claire
Received her first bouquet of roses

Flipped through her first issue of US Weekly. She, like me, enjoyed "Stars-They're Just Like Us." Orly and I aren't sure if we blame Lynne Spears for Jamie Lynn's pregnancy or Britney's crazy despite UW's hard hitting cover story. Speaking of, it's like a Spears' family reunion up in this joint. Every new mother is 16 and the "grandparents" are my age. It's crazy, ya'll.

M is on the road to recovery and feeling better and better.

Thanks for all the emails and calls. Peace out!

Welcome to the OC!

She is here and is awesome! Martha is doing well.

Here are the stats:

Orly Caroline
December 27, 2007 at 3:39 pm
7 pounds, 3 ounces
19.4 inches long

Orly (pronounced OR-LEE) is a Hebrew name meaning "my light" and the "Ly (Lee)" is for her two maternal great grandmothers--two amazing Texas ladies.

We can’t wait to introduce her to you all.

Over and Out

M and I leave for the hospital in under two hours. I am trying to remember everything I can about this day so as to tell Mr. B at some point down the line. So far the day has consisted of drinking coffee, watching TV (natch), finishing Baby Wise, laundry, moving crap around in the house just cause we can, fighting with the wheels on the bassinet and various and sundry other boring activities. M has been napping on and off which is good especially cause she is not allowed to eat. This is bad. I am actually waiting til she gets in the shower to grab some food.

Anyway, we will be communicating from the other side. Thanks everyone for your calls, emails, text messages and good wishes. Asher, who is three, called last night to wish us luck. So sweet.
As Hester said, "it's make it work time."

xo,
C

Oh, we do!

M and I came home from our holiday celebration to find two lovely messages on our machine. The first was from one of the Gayz. I haven't talked to him in forever and it was so nice to hear his sweet, encouraging voice on the other end of the line. I adore him!

The second sweet and supportive message was from one of the most hilarious people on the planet, Hester's dad, Carl. Getting a voice mail from Carl is such a pleasant surprise that just makes you smile and turns me into a "giggle puss." It also makes you start reciting all your favorite "Carl(isms)" of which there are dozens. I was so pumped and awesome to receive the message that I immediately pressed 2 so as to save it on our voice mail.

A Dream Deferred

So, I had this dream--more like a fantasy really. You see I am a huge Sweeney Todd fan. I love the musical. It is probably my all-time favorite. Thus, I have been fairly pumped about seeing the film and made a plan like a month or two ago to go with M on Christmas Day. Since that time I harbored a secret hope that M would go into labor during the Beggar Woman's "City on Fire." Wouldn't that be awesome?

Sadly and thank god, it didn't happen. M just looked at me and laughed when the BW began to sing. We enjoyed the rest of the movie (Gianni, I look forward to a lively debate in the new year) without incident and then went out for Chinese with friends. It was a great day. Plus, I got some excellent gifts including a Perez totebag and My So Called Life on DVD.

"Caitlin, we're not going camping!"

M and I are in full-on nesting mode. In the last few days we have washed and folded tons of baby clothes, set up various baby apparati and finished organizing her room, cleaned and organized closets and made food to freeze. I have also updated my email contacts, set up a new address book, cleaned out the garage and done tons of other random crap that I have been meaning to do for months. Claire and I even went to Costco yesterday where I bought a shit ton of wipes, oatmeal and Cheerios. That is about all I could handle buying--well, that stuff, plus batteries and razors. I am exhausted but keep thinking there is more to do--more food to make, more crap to organize, more things to set up. M finally reminded me that it is not like we can't go to the store or run errands after the baby is born. "It is not as if we are going camping in the middle of nowhere," she chided.

Taking Requests

At our final drs. appointment on Friday, the ever enthusiastic Dr. W instructed us that we need to bring music for the delivery room. "I'm counting on you both to make it good," she said. M and I had been vaguely thinking about our "birthing mix(es)" but after our visit we felt the weight of the challenge upon us. It isn't like M and I aren't a friend to the mix cd (as the hospital is not yet equipped with I-pod docking stations and I don't think I can bring in my own equipment, we must go old school). In fact, the "extraction tapes" cd made for the first part of this journey was so popular that we gave our copy to the nurse who was raving about it.

Yet, we are having trouble with what do for this cd. Is it rockin' (my vote)? It is relaxing (M is thinking so)? Or, it is simply our favorite music of all time? What to do? M had the idea that maybe it should consist only of music from the shows Mr. B has been to over the past nine months. M and I, despite living in a town that bands pass by, have been making every attempt to rock. So, in the last nine months, Mr. B has been to shows of The Be Good Tanyas, Heartless Bastards, and Arcade Fire with LCD Soundsystem. If we go this route, I would like to throw Lucinda Williams in the mix as we saw her right before Mr. B came on the scene and besides, the show was at the Ryman and was freakin' amazing.

Last night we went down to our local and well-stocked independent record store to try and find inspiration but nothing moved us. We need to get this project accomplished in the next 48 hours and so we are seeking your advice dear friends and readers. Please post/email suggestions today! I will then try and post the final line-up before Thursday afternoon. I'm counting on you, Luther.

It's ten to nine and I want them gone

A birthday shout-out to M's grandma, E.L.F. She's 93 and still kickin it.

Babies Having Babies

Today has been a very good day. I got to work to find five emails from friends re the whole Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy. As I responded to my friend Amanda, "so, clearly I am not going to get any work done." I have been checking in with my sources all day--namely, http://www.perezhilton.com/ and http://www.tmz.com/ and this is some good shit. Jamie Lynn selling her story to OK; K Fed learning about the baby before Britney; Lynne Spears putting her parenting book on hold; the fact that the "live in" baby daddy, Casey, is 19 and JL is 16. Nice. The news has been fast and furious and I have been lovin it! Oh, and apparently Lily Allen is also pregnant (and still smoking) by one of them Chemical Brothers. Good for her. At least he has a job.

PS: In case you were worried about how to explain Jamie Lynn's pregnancy to your tweens, I give you this from those people keeping them honest at CNN:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/12/19/spears.pregnant.feedback/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Save the date

Just in . . .
Mr. B is scheduled to be delivered December 27 at 3:30 p.m. (which you know means like 5 p).
So, in less then two weeks we will be parents. Freaky.

Birthdays

M is scheduling her c-section tomorrow. Very exciting. It will most likely be December 27, 28 or 29 due to the fact we would rather wait as long as possible but need to (according to our doctors) schedule it for before M's due date which is January 1. Our decision for which *exact* date Mr. B will arrive will be based on schedule (I am rooting for the 28th or 29th), doctor on call (we like *most* of the doctors in the practice) and what they have available. I think there are people who induce for the tax deduction--that's crazy shit.

Anyway, I am trying to collect as much data as possible and felt it necessary to consult www.famousbirthdays.net to see who could possibly share Mr. B's birthday and evaluate the pluses and minuses. So, on December 27 Mr. B would share birthdays with Cookie Roberts, Marlene Dietrich, Ricki from My So Called Life (one of my all time faves!) and the father from Good Times--all good--but she would also share with the girl from Poltergeist. Some people believe her death was part of the "Poltergeist" curse. I think she made a bad career choice with a post-jump the shark turn on Happy Days. On December 28 Mr. B would share her cake with Dame Maggie Smith (M loves the Prime of Miss Jean Brody) and Denzel Washington (which personally is kind of a downer). I don't love Denzel. None of this matters because December 29th is the clear winner--Marianne Faithful, Mary Tyler Moore and Inga Swenson from Benson (M loves that show too!). I'm overlooking Ted Danson and Jude Law.

Bringin it down

I spent Saturday night watching Friday Night Lights (seriously people, it is the best show of all time . . .Tim Riggins, Tammy Taylor . . .unbeatable!) and sorting through the mounds and mounds of baby clothes from Adelaide (sent, of course, by her mother, Hester). I sat there reminded once again of the incredible generosity (not just of things but of time, advice, reassurance), kindness and straight up enthusiasm our friends have shown to and for us during this journey. I hope Mr. B knows just how freakin' excited everyone is to meet her.

I have been struggling to try and post this to the blog cause I don't want it to sound trite and overly sentimental, which I am. You can ask M. It drives her crazy. But the thing is that I continue to be amazed and grateful for what kick ass friends I have--every single one of them. My biggest wish for Mr. B is that she has great peeps just like her mommas.

There, I'm done.

Mommas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys

Our cats are also preparing for Mr. Baby. Sadie is sitting on M's stomach as much as possible so as to stake her claim as the first born and rightful heir. Willie Nelson is acting more adorable than ever so as to make sure we will continue to regard him as cute, stupid and lovable. Here he is celebrating the seventh crazy night.

Give the people what they want

For those of you who have been clamoring to see M all pregnant, here she is. This photo was taken today at 7 a so as to make sure and capture the "pregnant M" just in case the "version" started the whole birthing process. Doesn't she look awesome?

Version 1.0

Martha had her "version" procedure this morning. It was totally undramatic and unsuccessful. Mr. B is staying put and thus, M will be having a c-section at the end of the month. Date tba.

For every season

Mr. Baby is still head up and at our doctor's appointment on Friday we decided to try a "version" in order to see if we can get her to turn upside down. So on Monday Dr. K (who is awesome and married to our fertility doc, the equally awesome Dr. T) will lay her hands on M's belly, apply some pressure and try and physically move our little lady into position. The chances of it working are at best 50% but we and the doctor thought it was worth a try. If she doesn't turn then we are headed down the c-section road and anticipate bringing Mr. B into the world a few days after Christmas. To learn more about the "procedure" take a look at http://www.aafp.org/afp/980901ap/coco.html.

In other news we went on our hospital tour today which was pretty standard and again, a long discussion on security. I might have gotten a little too pumped when they announced there was wi-fi in all the birthing rooms.

Make it work

M and I attended our "infant care class" Wednesday night. It was pretty much a bust. They spent the first thirty minutes (re)assuring us that our baby won't always be so funny lookin (body covered in cheese, giant balls--well, not Mr. B--, smashed head, yada yada yada) and then another forty five on hospital security. I know these are scary times, but c'mon--Baby LoJack? Oh, and then they talked for like another half-an-hour about snacks for Dad. Cause Dad might get queasy being that he is a "man" and all. There was a lot of "Dad" talk (by this I mean using the word Dad instead of other parent, coach, etc) which doesn't really offend me. I can't speak for the single moms, the one gay Dad and the requisite pregnant teen (who spent the entire time texting).

Finally at 9p (and with a half-an-hour-left) they got down to the important stuff--bath, swaddling and diaper change. I have a feeling I am going to need a sedative to give the first bath. Not too mention, that we couldn't see any of the demos and that "practice" time came at 9:30 when the class was supposed to be done. Needless to say, M and I didn't stay to practice. It was Wednesday night. We had to get home for Project Runway. They'll teach us how to change a diaper in the hospital or will call our friend Claire (which by the way, is now my answer for everything).

Speaking of Project Runway, I just read this on TMZ: http://www.tmz.com/category/lets-get-this-party-started/I I feel a bit of six degrees as my excellent friend Jamie (M says I can't put last names on the blog. Sorry Merlino) went to diving camp with Dale.

So drink your gin and tonicah

Last night was the first of the eight crazy nights. Since Mr. Baby and her momma are Jews, I thought it only appropriate to wish you all a happy and lovely Chanukah. In the spirit of the season (and with a shout out to one of my favorite "half Jews," Matt Merlino) I recommend: http://www.jewsrock.org/.

Daycare Hunters

M and I are on the hunt for daycare for Mr. B. Specifically, daycare for Mr. B that would begin next August. We have toured five or six places, all of which, I think, would treat Mr. B right but some of them seem like happier, brighter daycares with manageable waiting lists. (i.e. 9 months or less).

During all of these visits, I keep waiting for Suzanne Whang to pop out from behind a bush and introduce our "options." "M and C are lesbians having a baby and looking for daycare for their daughter. Daycare one is at the top of their price range but close to Caitlin's office . . ."

What Suzanne would also tell you is that we have narrowed our options down to two and put waiting list deposits down on two of them. The "before list" is feeling more and more manageable. Thank God.

My new bffs

I like TV. I like it a lot and now I like Kynt and Vxysin, "dating goths" from Louisville who are currently running The Amazing Race. I like their makeup (reminds me of Dead or Alive). I like their attitude and lack of verbal abuse and I like how they spell their names. They are way better than the midget and her bitchy cousin.

Say hello to my little friend

Here's Mr. B at 34 weeks. Well, her body is 34 weeks. Her head is 36. She's gifted! She is also breech at the moment. We're hoping she will turn in the next two weeks. M is doing yoga exercises to encourage her to move into the proper "head first" position. I am walking around the house singing "turn the b(eat) around" while doing the "cabbage patch" cause that's how I roll.

Backstory

I realized after completing the last post that a little backstory might be in order. So, quickly . . . M and I are two ladies having a baby. That is, M is pregnant with our daughter due January 1, 2008.

What? how, you ask? Well, we went the “medically assisted” route. After six trys it took. Thanks, Dr. T.

And no, the “donor” is no one you know.

"No, what’s it called?!"

Upon learning that M and I were having a baby, Asher, who happens to be my favorite three year old on the planet, demanded to know from his mother, the lovely Claire, what we were naming our daughter. (Yes, it is a girl. Well, at least according to the amnio. That can’t be wrong, can it?)

“You know. Freddy, Teddy, what’s it called?” Asher emphatically inquired after clearing up any confusion that he in fact understood that a baby was on the way. His mother patiently explained to him that we were having a girl and we would choose her name and announce it to friends and family upon her arrival. Well, this didn’t sit well with Asher and in a moment of great clarity and wisdom announced that her name will be “Mr. Baby.” M and I immediately decided that this was probably the greatest thing ever said by a child and have thus christened our daughter, at least in utero, Mr. Baby.

Side note: Not only is Mr. Baby the perfect moniker, it brings with it the added bonus of deflecting the whole “name question.” Once you tell the Mr. Baby story people forget to ask what name you have “really” picked out for the kid. M and I choose our daughter’s real name months ago. (Occasionally we look at each other and ask if we are totally sure, but it has been a fait accompli since the day we learned she was a girl). It is not that we care what people’s reactions are going to be to the name—you like it or you don’t—we have just found the occasional negative response to be awkward and weird. So, we have decided to now keep the name on the dl.

And so, we are now getting ready for this little person, Mr. Baby, or Mr. B, as I have taken to calling her, and I guess I have decided to chronicle it all right here. Enjoy!